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Monday, 30 July 2012

The box is not big enough to hold ones entire being

A man was riding a horse and people pointed at him saying that he is exploiting the poor beast. Heeding their advice, he got off the horse and walked next to it, some still mocked him and stated that if he had a horse why is he walking next to it? So he picked the horse up and carried it on his shoulders, yet he was mocked at being a fool and not utilising the potential of the beast.

I was told this story ages ago, which just brings to light the fact that no matter what we do and how we do it, we will always be mocked at and pointed at for doing it wrong. One will always be too silly, too big, too small, too something or other which will upset someone or the other. How far are we then willing to change ourselves to fit the mould?

We evolve, we grow, we learn and we improvise, and somewhere along the line there are so many changes that occur within our being, that a time will come when we will look at the mirror and not recognise ourselves. We try so hard at pleasing the world, yet we know, for sure, that we never can. But then again we are a part of this world. Either one should be strong enough to turn his back on the world and live as a recluse, or one ought to become so servile that he changes colours constantly as a chameleon, having no identity or individuality of his own.

Nietzsche stated that Human beings who do not want to belong to the mass need only to stop, and not be comfortable; follow their conscience, which cries out: "Be yourself! All you are now doing, thinking, desiring, is not you yourself."...your educators can be only your liberators...” .

No extreme is good for ones existence. A branch that doesn't sway in a strong wind, breaks. A sense of balance is necessary to understand oneself and to see how far will one go to blend in. The moment an individual makes a statement, and stands up for himself, he is tagged as being the rebel, the black sheep. The group sees that individual as a possible threat and fears insubordination as herd is much easier to control than an individual thought. To go all nihilistic is again an extreme which I do not believe in. The instinctive reaction of one, when everyone around that person wants to stuff his entire being in a box, is of rebellion and anger. One feels the need to defy everything and everyone which again borders on the extreme of self destruction. The best thing I feel is to take a deep breath and walk away!

It is interesting to have an out of body experience in cases where the person across you subtly states that you are not believable as a human being and that your mother is to blame to birth an imperfection as yourself. Each and everyone of us is told this at some point or the other in our lives, by a friend, boy friend, at work or any other mature instance. It is a good exercise to zone out and see the two people involved as a third person and just listen. There are not many who will say things to genuinely help, but most will just say because they can. One is to sift the good out of the many words said. Listen to what the person has to say and how the person is saying it, and then let it go.

Defending oneself I've seen doesn't really help, because at that point every single statement one makes will be seen as defensive and offensive. As evolving apes when faced with opposition of any kind, the whole body and the nervous system tenses up for action and reaction. When the body is not allowed to manifest that summing up of resources in a physical manner, the energy thus summoned needs to be exposed in some other way. To look at this instance in a purely impersonal manner, we see that an individual is being opposed, and this opposition in today's world is more often that not, in a verbal manner. Now the opposition is there, so the mind and body react. The vigourous blood flow in the body readying it for action, is a biological reaction to the situation, but nothing can be done at that time, because to be honest, one cannot hurl oneself across the room and punch the living daylights out of the person pointing fingers at one.
 All said and done about being diplomatic, constructive criticism, body language etc., the reaction of the body tensing, cheek flushing, anger welling up inside is a biological reaction which cannot be ignored, but we as social animals need to control that reaction and let go of it in a constructive manner so that the repercussions of such opposition and conflict do not destroy all one has worked hard at to achieve.

It was narrated that Abu Dharr said: The Messenger of Allaah (PBUH) said to us: “If one of you gets angry when he is standing, let him sit down, and if that does not take away his anger, then let him lie down. He should get out of the situation he is in, so that his anger will dissipate because of his moving away from that situation.”

The best thing to do when one is that riled up is to say nothing at all and take time to calm down. We owe to ourselves to take time out and approach a situation when we are good and ready to deal with it. Anger shows the true colour and depth of ones nature. One should avoid saying things when one is angry. I have seen people deal with temper in a wide variety of ways. Whether its doing laundry, working out or punching a bag, who cares? What works (as long as it is not destructive) works. When angry or upset, keeping to myself and taking time for a long walk and to take stock of the situation seems to work for me. 

As a reasonable amount of time passes, the situation that deemed so serious and upsetting when it happened, just loses its importance and can be dealt with it in a better and constructive manner.

The fact that one exists will be a cause of negativity and opposition for someone or the other all through ones life. Makes sense to find a way to deal with such opposition and to be able to live with ourselves. Its not for them that we accept who we are, but it is for our own selves. Our happiness is ideally in our own hands. When we work so hard to get a tiny piece of it, why let anyone take it away from us?

Reminds me of a poem in my childhood- “This little shining light of mine, I'm going to let it shine, let it shine, all the time, let it shine. Hide it under a bush, Oh No!  Im going to let it shine, let it shine all the time, let it shine.” 


And let it shine I shall.♥

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